Should I Let My Son Do It Alone OR Should I help him better?

How many times have I found myself in this paradigm: “I’d better dress him, so we can leave now”, “I’d better feed him, so he doesn’t make a mess on the floor”? And the list goes on. The reality? We’re not truly helping—neither them nor us as parents.

The fact is, when your children learn to do things on their own (even if at first it may not be as fast or perfect as you want), it will eventually create independent and self-confident individuals.

The Importance of Letting Children Do Things on Their Own

Children need their parents to guide them, but it is essential to let them try doing things independently. Applauding their efforts, no matter how small, encourages them to continue. With this approach, you’re helping them gain confidence and teaching them resilience.

If You Always Feel the Need to Do Things for Your Child, Here Are My Tips:

• Acknowledge frustration: Your child may get frustrated at first, and that’s normal. Reassure them by saying, “If you need help, just let me know.” This way, they’ll understand that you’re there to support them, but they aren’t alone in their efforts.
• Prepare ahead of time: If you know that allowing your child to do things on their own (like getting dressed or eating) will take longer, start earlier to give them the time they need without feeling rushed.
• Encourage them throughout the process: Positive reinforcement is key to building their confidence. Cheer them on, even if they struggle.
• Resist the urge to intervene: Even if you’re tempted to help, hold back! Only by letting them try can they truly learn and grow.

Age-Appropriate Responsibilities for Children

Here’s a list of responsibilities that your child can start handling, depending on their age:

• Toddlers: Picking up toys, helping to dress themselves
• Preschoolers: Putting away clothes, setting the table
• School-aged: Preparing simple snacks, managing their homework time

These tasks will build their self-confidence and give you, as a parent, a much-needed break, leading to less stress in your day.

Remember, help them now, so that in the future, they can help themselves and even help you as a parent.

With love,
Diana