The Victimized Mother Hurts Her Children Internally

The Victimized Mother Hurts Her Children Internally

 

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Everything I did, I did for you.”

As parents, we go through many challenges to protect our children, and often, in doing so, we get into troubles that our children do not see. However, this is not a reason to throw it back at them, as it is our duty as parents to care for and protect them. Our sufferings in life should not become a burden for our children.

The victimized mother is the one who pretends to suffer in situations where she feels she lacks control. For some, playing the victim allows them to benefit from others’ pity or gain something in return. These mothers, submissive and victims of their own suffering, unknowingly create a bond of pain between themselves and their children.

Your Children Need a Happy Mother

 

It doesn’t matter what your situation is—whether you’re a single mother, facing financial problems, or dealing with unfulfilled desires—the only thing your children truly want is a happy mother. A good mother.

“After my divorce, I was left with nothing. The apartment we moved to was so small that my children and I slept in the same bed because I couldn’t afford more. I felt bad as a mother for not being able to give my children more. However, when I later spoke to them about that time, my children remembered it as something fun and beautiful because to them, it was always, ‘Being with mom, sleeping with mom, eating with mom.’ For them, everything was about being together.”

Children do not know about cheap or expensive unless we teach them to care about it. They don’t care if there’s one bed or two, and they are not concerned with the hardships we face unless we emphasize them. If we learn to show them the positive side of things, they will learn to focus on it too.

Creating a Positive Environment

 

Pain will always exist in our lives in one form or another. However, children need to know that a happy mother and a good mother will always be there for them despite adversity. Because in the end, everything is temporary. Teaching them that love prevails, regardless of the situation, is the best gift you can give them.

Play with your children. Have fun together. Go for walks, play in the sun, get wet in the rain, make a mess in the sand, kick a ball, or have tea parties. These are the true demonstrations of love. After that, discipline comes by creating responsibilities in their daily routine, ensuring they grow up surrounded by love and healthy boundaries.

Children are resilient. They do not mind if dad isn’t there, as long as they feel loved. They don’t care if they only have one bed, as long as we don’t make a big deal out of it. Children learn visually, verbally, and physically from us, so let’s make sure they see and hear beautiful things while they are young.

Find the Balance Between Love and Self-Care

 

It’s important not to become your child’s only attachment figure. Teach them that while mommy loves to play and is always there, mommy also needs her own time to take care of herself and other duties in the home. Encourage them to play alone sometimes, and a good way to manage this is by using a daily calendar so they know when it’s their turn to play with mom and when it’s time to play independently.

For your child’s sake, don’t be a self-sacrificing mother. For both of your sakes, take care of yourself, respect yourself, and take the time to pamper yourself. Fall in love with yourself again—for you, and for your children.